limbo

I'm feeling rather bored today. Maybe bored isn't the right word. Just unmotivated to do anything. Which is strange because it's gorgeous out and there are all sorts of things going on that I would normally love to do. Yesterday I opened at work and there must've been something in the water because everyone was in a good/goofy mood. By the time I left I had all this energy and spent the drive home trying to think of all the reasons why I should or shouldn't go to Des Moines for the weekend. I thought about it all night and still this morning as I lay on the couch pretending to watch TV. Around the time the fourth home improvement show was starting I resigned myself to the idea that if I was questioning it so much it probably, ultimately, wasn't the right thing for me to do. What is harder to deal with: the regret of never being brave enough to know for sure, or the disappointment of possibly hearing what you feared?
I recently tried explaining to someone about the weird state of limbo that I feel my life is in right now. I know that I'm ready to be done with retail, but I'm waiting to hear a definite answer from the Peace Corps. But no one can tell me for sure how much longer it might be. They said August but that seems to be getting awfully close with still no word. In the meantime I have a hard time making plans for the future. I want to take a trip with Erin but plane tickets are non-refundable. I don't want to start a new relationship (ha! as if it were just that simple anyway) because I don't want another reason to stay if the PC thing comes thru. This uncertainty is making me a little nutty.